Writing A Menu Entry, Continued (Mobbed Up)

The class started with Richard opening up the floor to stories from the students, a.k.a. 'odds and ends'. Russian Pam Anderson went to One if By Land, Two if By Sea with her husband and unsurprisingly were impressed by the 'romantic' decor but underwhelmed by the just-good food. Baseball Cap Kid, with out a hint of irony, told us about he and his girlfriend ordered from TGIFriday's, and when he drove over to pick it up, he had to walk through a crowded bar and get the attention of a bartender, just so he could retrieve his order. According to Richard, similar places like Applebees have a curb-side pick up service to avoid such silliness. On top of that, the order was packaged in an nondescript paper bag.

Queens Restaurant Lady said her restaurant recently installed cameras in and around the dining room, and has noticed the front of house staff spending more time in the dining room and engaging the customers. Some discussion came of this, with Richard explaining that it perfectly legal for the owner of a public space to video monitor (and/or audio monitor) people with no expectation of privacy. Bathrooms, where it is expected to be private, is another topic.

Most of the rest of class was dedicated to a menu writing exercise. After reviewing the basics of a menu entry (temperature, method, main ingredient, part and modifier), Richard distributed bits of paper with a basic concept on it. Each table were to write four menu entries based on this concept, then the rest of class would guess the basic concept from only reading the menu items.

One table got "upscale feminine",  another "moderate masculine". We got "moderate/themer". There had to be a fish & mayo dish, a beef and onion dish, a chicken and mushroom dish, and a shrimp and herb dish. Here is what my table came up with, along with criticism from Richard and the class. Apologies to all the Italian Americans out there, it was based on the Outback Steakhouse attitude, but literally only 5 minutes to write the menu....

• Sleeping with the Fishes: Swordfish Milanese resting peacefully on a bed of greens and a side of garlic aoli. Does the target market understand what 'Milanese' means? Maybe make it make Italian with "polenta-breaded or something. Aoli is French, not Italian, perhaps "olive oil Mayonnaise" would work more. What kind of greens? "Greens" is just abstract.
  
• The Goodfella's Beef:  Braised Osso Bucco & Balsamic-Glazed Onions over Egg Noodles. What's the braising liquid? Italian wine like Chianti would make sense. Egg noodles not Italian - name the noodle, like parpadelle.
  
• Omerta Chicken: Chicken Rolatini Riddled with Ricotta and Mushrooms. Needs method -- baked or fried? Needs a sauce or liquid. 
  
• Wiseguy Scampi: Tough but Tender Shrimp sauteed with garlic butter and oregano with linguine

Richard noted that we were consistent in naming the dishes -- naming some but not others would be awkward, and the names clearly communicated the theme. No, I will not be opening a mob-themed restaurant anytime soon, though it makes me wonder what the menu at the 'Bada Bing' topless bar in NJ contains...

We finished the day with the basic menu food groups, and preconceived notions people bring to them. These are not the reality of these groups, just the baggage people bring to your spot and influence their view of your menu:

• Beef: filling, expensive (depending on cut)
  
• Veal: lighter, luxury, more expensive, smaller portion, cruel
  
• Pork: fatty, boring, cooked well done
  
• Poultry: boring, safe, easy to over cook, light, lean
  
• Lamb: gamey & complex, less digestible
  
• Game: interesting, variety, a talking point
  
• Offal: challenging, ethnic, variety
  
• Fish: healthy, lower in calories and fat, expensive, fresh
  
• Shellfish: expensive, fresh
  
• Vegetable: healthy, boring
  
• Pasta/grain: less expensive
  
• Dairy/Fruit: usually breakfast or lunch
  

Any good menu will need 7 food groups represented to offer a good variety.